She walked along the shoreline watching the peaceful waters hit the sand, ending up in her field of roses. She had put on one of her favorite dresses and listened to music that he had given her as she slowly trekked back and forth. She knew that she had kept him too long the night before and always regretted it afterwards, but just could not seem to keep from extracting every moment from him that was possible. A smile came across her face as she thought of the stranger in the house and how they had laughed and “played” with her…trying to get her out of the house, when all along THEY were the ones being played with. She had NO intention of leaving! No wonder she always ran in the opposite direction when they had opened a door! She may have been a newbie, but she was quite happy in her new found surroundings and had no intentions of leaving! Who could blame her? V had given her everything her heart had desired. He WAS everything her heart desired. She could feel her brow wrinkle as she thought of how concerned he had been recently and all the questions that had been going through his mind. She was happy to share the burden with him, but hated that there was one at all. She so much hoped that she had not CAUSED the situation in anyway….and only prayed that he could find some solace in her arms. She grabbed a rose and climbed up to the top of the tree house, looking out to the sunset. EVERYTHING that she had she owed to him. When she told him that he was her world, she wondered if he really understood what she meant when she said it. She brought the pink flower to her nose and sniffed it letting the soft petals run across her face. She thought of the way his hand felt as it caressed her cheeks and the softness of his lips on hers. She knew that he would be up early this morning….and her mind drifted to all the work he was putting into making another of their dreams a reality.

It was what she wanted more than anything in the world, and yet…she worried. She knew when they became a couple that there would be battles to fight, there always was in any relationship. She knew there would be differences in the way they thought and the way they did things…in their expectations…and she had been happily surprised at how few there really were. It seemed that most things they seemed to agree on…and the few they could not…they agreed to respectfully disagree, focusing on the things that were common between them rather than those that were not. She knew there would ghosts from the past that would haunt both of them. And yes, those ghosts DID rear their ugly heads and tried to wreak havoc, but they had met them head on and had not let them ravage the love that consumed them. There were the circumstances of the present that always tried to separate them, and while they were painful, they just served as a gentle reminder of the past from which they came and the future they hoped to attain. She was learning how to detect his “moods’ and to adjust to each one accordingly. It was her nature to run and hide when such things happened and she was learning that it was during those times that he needed her the most. And she was determined to be what he needed and not to take things personally.

It was a fact, that MOST things they had handled and were handling quite well…but there was one thing, she had not counted on….and that was herself. She picked at the petals of the flower, removing them one by one…looking at the varying shades of color in the petals…taking one and folding it in half and looking at the line that it made…and smelling the fragrance that emanated from it. She seemed to be her own worst enemy. And oh, how she hated that. It was the quiet voice inside her that undermined her best laid plans. It was nothing that he did or said. God…he made EVERY effort to reassure her. She knew that he could sense it…and that he had made it his goal to help her past it. He was the kindest, most loving man she had ever known. And of his love for her, there was no doubt and yet…she had the hardest time imagining that anyone, least of all him, could be or would be satisfied with her. And she knew it was only possible for him to do so much…and the rest…would be left up to her.

She watched as the sun sat and the darkness came upon her. It was SO peaceful. The words of the poem that he had written for her came to her mind and she pondered the thought of being his “night”. Was it possible that she could bring this kind of peace and tranquility to him? She hoped so. She laid the remains of the rose to the side and felt a brief moment of sadness for it, that it was now destined to die since she had picked it. But it had brought her moments of pleasure and she felt as though it was not in vain. She looked out at all the other roses that surrounded her as they gently blew in the night breeze and thought perhaps that was their purpose and if so, they served her well. She laid back on the blanket and looked at the stars hoping that she could find a way to step aside and overcome her insecurities before he gave up all hope. She knew what it felt like to try everything and to finally accept the fact, that all you had done was for naught. She would not let that happen. She would try harder, she would find a way. It was a task she knew she MUST complete.