My Dear, Sweet Husband,

I hate the way we left last. I know “we” were fine, but I worry for YOU, love. I know things are hard and confusing right now. I wish it were different, but when we talked, MOST of the things you wanted, you either had or were in your reach. Of course I wish you did not have to have a silly job, but unfortunately, we have to have money to live. But I AM grateful that you do have a job that pays you a decent wage and allows you SOME autonomy. I just worry that at some point the NATURE of the job may get to be more than you bargained for. And I guess when/if that time comes we will have to cross that bridge at that time.

I wish there were some way that I could help you, that I could lighten the load…or undo the injustices. Unfortunately, all I can do is listen and support you…and it seems that I am not even doing THAT very well lately. I worry that I will make things harder for you once I am there…and then I stop and realize that it will probably be BETTER for you. I am so sorry love…I hate to think that I might be causing you a MOMENT of despair. I know you tell me that is not the case…and I try to believe it…I just want to make sure that I do everything I can to make your life as wonderful as you have made mine! I am SO grateful for all the GOOD things I have in my life. I am SO grateful to have found you and have a chance at true happiness. I am SO happy to have a nice place to live and a warm bed to sleep in with a full tummy. I am SO grateful to have a Doctor that is treating me…and even a DENTIST! I am grateful for my relative good health and for the good health of those I love. And I AM grateful for family and friends. I would not be where I am today without wonderful friends! I am grateful for a God that loves me and has allowed me one last chance at happiness. And I am SO happy to think that I might have a chance at a future with you, my husband. I suppose the list could go on and on…but to make things short…I have SO many more things to be grateful for than I do to be unhappy about. Forgive me for the times that I lose sight of all the things that are RIGHT in my life. Those things FAR outweigh the other.

SO next time I begin to whine and cry….and feel sad for all my “woes”…please gently remind me of where I came from, of what my life was like and of all the wonderful things I have to be happy about. Sometimes I just need a good swift kick to knock the cobwebs from my head and remind me of how HAPPY I am! Thank you, my husband for your part in all this. I truly am not sure where I would be without you! You have made me happier than I ever dreamed and while the general cares of this world do weigh heavy on me at times, it is your loving arms and soft voice that move me and truly make a lasting impact on my life. So to all the many wonderful tomorrows we have yet to observe! May our love NEVER be lost in the trials of this life and may it always flourish among the thorns that often surround us.

Forever…your adoring wife….D