The TD is a little later today, love. I hope it still finds you doing well and being well rested. I did so enjoy my time with you last evening. It is ALWAYS so good to be with you and to lay in your arms. I was SO glad that I could HEAR your expression when you saw my pic. I had wondered how long it would take you to find it. I truly wanted to cry, love. I could tell the words came from your heart and were almost said as a natural reaction…something unplanned…perhaps even unthought…just an immediate response. It meant so much to me, more than you will ever know. I will store it away in my heart for safe keeping. It is SO wonderful to be able to HEAR you SAY you love me and how much I mean to you. Perhaps I can kind of understand why it is important to you to hear me say the things you ask of me. There is just something about HEARING them that makes it different. I don’t even know how to describe it. I love to see it written, for then I can always go back and read it over and over….(and I do!) but when I HEAR it, it is as though it is written on my heart and in my mind….and then I PLAY it over and over…the WAY it sounded…the way it made me feel…and I can relive it again and again. It seems to come so easily to you! You have to know how jealous I am. No matter WHAT we are talking about, you just seem to be able to say things SO easily. The words just seem to flow from you. I often wonder if you have that ability with everyone….or is it just so with me? It seems so natural to you! I wish it were that easy for me. I try…but it sounds so foreign to me! And I begin to think to myself how silly I must sound…and I DESPERATELY want to write it instead of say it! I can write ANYTHING…and it makes sense to me…and comes easily…and I am comfortable. But to SAY it…that is another story. I always considered myself a fair orator…but to be able to say the things that I am thinking…or share the thoughts of my heart…that is another story. And I often wonder why? WHY is it so hard for me to say those things. I have always told people “I pretty much SAY what I am thinking!” And it has always gotten me in trouble…but I have come to realize…there are MANY, MANY things that I have never spoken to a soul. You are the first to ever hear them…and had you not asked, they would probably NEVER have left these lips. So I suppose that is another first…and LAST for you! You will be the ONLY one to ever hear those things. May they bring you much pleasure, mein Koenig…may the words of my love for you be stored away in your heart for all time. May my smile and expressions fill your dreams…and may I always and forever be found pleasing in your eyes.
Bis zum naechsten Mal, mein Liebster…..your adoring wife….D
