It has often been said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have never believed that more than I do now, love. You know how I wrestle with my self image. I am getting better…I really am, as hard as that might be for you to believe. I just cannot believe that you can love me like that. I keep TRYING to get you to acknowledge or at least ACCEPT how bad (I think) I look…and you always…always…make me see ME differently. I am so grateful for that love. And to think…that you would even be offended by anyone that sees me differently than you do, just blows me away. That kind of love is so rare. It is seldom SEEN and even more rarely found! It is my prayer love, that I will see myself through your eyes.
Forever…your secret revealing wife…D
[2010/05/03 15:28] Vanish Firecaster: God, I feel so bad for you, love. I had prayed for you to get better.
El Firecaster kisses him….I look like SHIT! I mean I look like I have been RUN over!
El Firecaster laughs
Vanish Firecaster: That is so NOT true.
El Firecaster: It IS true! My eyes are SO dark!
Vanish Firecaster: *****.
El Firecaster: I hate it when I look like that!
Vanish Firecaster: ***** ******.
El Firecaster smiles at him…well…it is true! You will see that I am not lying! I know I rag about my looks but when I am sick…oh my…it is really bad! I have always been that way. It is VERY evident! I have had STRANGERS at grocery stores ask me if I am ok!
Vanish Firecaster: No. Stop.
El Firecaster laughs…I’M SERIOUS!
Vanish Firecaster: Now stop it…*****. I don’t know how to explain it. But it hurts me when you tell me you think you don’t look good.
El Firecaster: awwwww…El Firecaster kisses him tenderly.
Vanish Firecaster: It is …because you are a very beautiful woman to me…and we rarely look our best at all times…that’s only normal and human…and shouldn’t need to be mentioned…and especially not be rubbed in….not even by yourself… because there’s a basic beauty that is ALWAYS there with…people who are beautiful…and you ARE like that.
El Firecaster kisses his neck softly, listening to him…holding his face close to her own.
Vanish Firecaster: I don’t accept any contradiction.
El Firecaster: Very well!…El Firecaster gives him that skeptical smile.
Vanish Firecaster: *****, it is very very important to me.
El Firecaster kisses his forehead.
Vanish Firecaster: I hate when you talk badly of yourself. It’s not only against all evidence…and against everything my eyes see…but it also hurts that you would think like that of yourself.
El Firecaster looks at him tenderly.
El Firecaster: I love you baby. I will try harder.
Vanish Firecaster: How would you feel if I told you how shitty I look? And that I’m not beautiful to behold.
El Firecaster smiles at him.
El Firecaster: I would know you were lying! You would ALWAYS be beautiful to me! Always!
Vanish Firecaster: So why do you think it’s different with you?
El Firecaster: I dunno….but I will try to see me the way you do.
Vanish Firecaster smiles.
El Firecaster places her finger tips over his eyes as a tear comes to hers.
El Firecaster: God….
El Firecaster: she whispers
El Firecaster: I love you.
Vanish Firecaster kisses her tenderly.
El Firecaster holds him close letting her head rest against him.
Vanish Firecaster: I will not accept anyone talking bad about my wife. Even if it’s herself.
El Firecaster: nodding.
Vanish Firecaster holds her quietly against himself.
