Oh love…never in all my life have I been so excited about one day in time. I try not to think about it! I try to pretend like my life is not about to change forever. I try to give off an air of normalcy. But inside, I KNOW! I cannot help it. It is almost as though I can feel my body tremble in anticipation. Yes…there is part of me that is afraid….silly fears….things that SHOULD have already been dealt with…and perhaps they have been…at least in part. Because it seems that each day I just get more excited and the fears seem to be fading into the background. I think of all the WONDERFUL things I have to look forward to…the feeling that my life is FINALLY starting! I have waited for this day forever it seems.
Oh love….and as you heard earlier today…it FREQUENTLY brings tears to my eyes. It is not often that almost all your dreams will be realized at once! To FINALLY be home. Oh love…I have looked for you for SOOO long! I have waited for this moment for as longs as I can remember. Even as a child…I knew it would come someday. It was a constant feeling of longing. I KNEW you were out there…and I knew you would find me someday. It was in every game I played, in every song I wrote, in every poem I created and in every day dream I ever had. You…..YOU were there. And now…sometimes I cannot help but wonder…in those moments, before my memory…when I was alone…when I had been rejected…when I had been “thrown to the side” were you there? Is that why I never felt like others did about being “abandoned”? I never worried over it. I never felt unloved. I never wanted any kind of retribution. Was it because I knew you were with me? Was it because I knew, even then that one day I would be reunited…and that NOTHING else mattered? I have often wondered WHY I did not respond to it as most would.
I can hear your voice…”It will be good. It will be fun. We will have a good life.”…and yes…we will. I know it is not perfect…but as long as we are together, it will be good. No one is promised anything. Most people NEVER find what we have found. Most people don’t even know it exists. I have no idea how long our life here will last. I don’t know what the future holds. All I know is, that what we have is eternal and in perfect love…there is no fear. I am not afraid, my prince. I have found that perfect love…
I am FOREVER your eternal wife……D
