Sleepless nights…..don’t ya just hate em? I guess everyone has them. But I seem to have more than my fair share. And I was just starting to sleep better… almost making up for lost time.

But I wondered, as the day grew closer and closer for the beginning of my great adventure if this would happen. And sure enough…it has. It just seems like I CANNOT sleep. I want to. I desire it. I feel the need for it. I am CERTAINLY tired…and even somewhat sleepy. But I guess it is my MIND that will not allow my body to rest.

I am SO excited, love….and I must admit, I can hear the anticipation in your voice as well…and I love it. There is seldom a day…and most often not a conversation between us…that does not turn to the fact that I will be with you VERY soon! And yes, it DOES feel like my life has been put on hold as I wait for the day. I feel like there are SO many things I still need to do…so many I SHOULD be doing…and yet, for the life of me…I cannot think of them. I feel like I walk around in a dreamlike trance waiting for the moments to pass until I can finally be there.

I have had many wonderful moments in my life. I am very blessed to have had some really GOOD things happen to me…but this….THIS…is like everything I have ever dreamt of FINALLY happening. It is pretty much the culmination of EVERYTHING I have EVER wanted. It may be the single most important and life changing day in my existence.

I have played the scenes over and over inside my head….imagining the long flight….and the near SEIZURES I will have as I sit on the plane and think of seeing you. I can imagine when the plane finally lands at my destination and I get off and walk into the airport. It will literally be like the first day of the rest of my life! I think it may feel like I have woke up and found myself on a different planet! SOOOO many things will be different…and look different…smell different….SOUND different. I can imagine trembling as I walk thru the corridors HOPING that I can find a bathroom. I may not be able to walk at ALL considering the long hours I will be sitting on planes. Once I have TRIED to refresh my hair and clothes…then I will have to MAKE myself walk out of the bathroom. How can one person want something SO badly and be SO afraid to have it at the same time? I can only imagine walking down the thoroughfare to finally see you….and looking….looking…almost afraid and yet seeking….until finally I see the unmistakable smile that I have grown to love so much….and feeling like those last few steps are the longest of my life. What will I say? What will I do? I can envisage walking into your arms and feeling them surround me for the first time as I lay my head on your shoulder and cry. I am not sure I will be able to do much more. I want to feel the warmth and security of you holding me and BURN that feeling into my mind so that it will never be lost again! The WONDER of finally being home…of finally returning….of completing the journey.

I am not so foolish as to think that we will never have hard times, love. I know we will have our fair share of fights and disagreements. I know heartache will find us and blast us with things that we did not prepare for. I know that we are both human and we will make mistakes. But those are all things we agreed to and understood when we decided to live here on this earth with one another as long as possible. It will be hard at times, but SOOO well worth it. I cannot imagine a life or future in ANY world, without you as my husband. I would not want to live there.

So….as I lay in your arms, exhausted but gloriously happy I will sleep the sleep that I have dreamt of. THE sleep will finally be home and taking residence with the one she adores. Until then, may I find comfort and REST in knowing that the culmination of everything we have talked about is upon us. And “It will be fun.”

FOREVER you adoring wife and personal…:)…slave….D