Good morning love! It always pleases me to know that when you wake up in the morning the TD will be waiting for you. As I cannot sleep…and I will probably not be awake when you get up, I like the thought of this greeting you for me. (Of course, you CAN wake me up if you so desire)
Thank you, love for your kindness and patience with me yesterday. Sometimes I wish you did not know me so well. It is so hard to hide things from you…and YES…I know I should STOP trying but it just seems to come to me that way….and that brings me to my thought for the day….
WHY does it seem to be so hard for me to learn? I always considered myself a fairly quick study… USUALLY able to pick up and adapt…and in most cases it only takes me once…or maybe twice to learn. I just cannot understand WHY I FORGET who I am so easily? It is SOOOO easy for me to totally forget who I have always been…and who WE are and have always been together! Why is that, love? It REALLY bothers me. I was thinking about it today as I was painting and wondered if perhaps it is because I was lost for so long? It seems like I spent so many years wandering…almost in a nightmare…and so now…I start out doing well…I FEEL like I know who we are….and then…just the simplest thing causes me to forget…and words like “never” and “can’t” and “won’t” seem to HAUNT me. And then before I know it, I have allowed myself to fall into a dark place, feeling like I am on the outside looking in. I try to tell myself that it does not matter, that I need to grow where I am planted and “Cowboy up”. And of course, it does not take you long to see through my facade…and then I am embarrassed to tell you how silly I am. Usually all it takes it your touch….or that look that you give me to snap me out of it and make me remember. But please love, for a while yet, when you see me that way…please gently remind me of who I am and of WHO’S I am.
I know the next couple of weeks will still be hard. I KNEW the move would be a major undertaking…but I don’t think I was truly prepared. I promise to TRY to not be too demanding of your precious time. I know you have many people to answer to and that next week will not be any easier…if not HARDER than this one was. So I am trying to brace myself, but if on occasion you see that look in my eye, please, just take me by the hand and remind me.
Happy Anniversary, love…yes…I know…it is past a year and I should be over all that…<giggles> But I think that the 10th and the 25th of each month will always be my favorite days of the month. As you go about your very busy day, please remember that your wife is waiting for you at home…and that she is just as proud and as happy, to be yours than she has ever been….and YES…THAT is who I am.
Until the next time I am in your arms…
Immer….D
