My most precious husband,
I wanted to take the time to thank you for your kindness regarding my most recent insecurities. I wish I could tell you that they are all gone, never to resurface again….I cannot. But I can tell you that I am learning to live with them and to put them where they belong.
Up until a year ago, I had always seemed to be drawn to people much younger than me. I have no idea why. Perhaps I liked the freshness of their ideas…or the way they seemed to look at life thru rose colored glasses. Most all of my friends were QUITE younger than I, and there never seemed to be a problem. I never even noticed the age difference, but did notice that when I was around people my own age, most of the time, I felt out of place and like I did not fit at all.
A year ago, I had decided that perhaps it was time to “grow up” and “act my age”…and what that really meant was that I had allowed all my dreams to die, I had given up and decided that I should accept my life as it was, and look forward to death…as it seemed it was the only “hope” left for me anymore. And then I met you. You changed all that. You made me believe again….you gave me a new hope and made me feel young and alive once more. Everything was new with you, the dream had not yet died.
I LOVE the fact that you said today, that you wanted to pick me up at 17 and start there. And why not? We have already defied all the odds. We have already done things that no one else would do. We have already lived lives and dreams and pasts together, why NOT start there? It seems like I am just NOW starting to find out who I am…like things DID stop at 17 and were put on hold, while a new chapter was written in my life. Now that chapter has ended…and OURS has begun. We CAN write it anyway we want. There is no need to define it by age or distance or time.
As we talked earlier about “Catwoman”…I decided to look her up on the internet and was SO pleased to come across one of her websites. It is: http://www.julienewmarwrites.com/index.php It turns out Miss Newmar is not only as beautiful in her 70’s as she was in her 20’s, she is classy and WISE! She is not just another pretty face…she is REALLY beautiful! Her writings are amazing…and the fact that she loves who she is today as much as she did when she was 20 (or maybe MORE) is a REAL inspiration to me. My experiences with those who have grown old around me have not always been positive…and I often told people that I hoped I died young. And I meant it. I no longer hope for that. I hope we have MANY wonderful years together. I hope that WE grow old together…and that we live YOUNG together. I hope that when I am 70 I will still be as young and vibrant as I am today and that our love will still be standing the test of time.
Thank you, love for giving me that chance. Thank you for looking at things differently than most. Thank you for loving me just as I am. Thank you…for just being you.
And to Miss Newmar…Thank you for being a role model to women all over the world of what a BEAUTIFUL, classy, sexy, wise woman of ANY age should be. My hats off to you…as I hope to follow in your footsteps.
I love you, V….
Forever you adoring, personal….:)…slave…D
