She sat in the chair looking out the window for a long time after he left.  They had both been so tired, both had headaches, but both had SO enjoyed the time they spent with each other.  She looked out over the city and smiled to herself as she thought of the way he had scooped her up and taken her away from prying eyes and newbie curiosity.  Her bleary, red rimmed eyes closed in peace….PEACE…as she thought of all they had discussed.  It was only the sound of the traffic below her that helped to convince herself that she was indeed awake and had not dreamed all that had transpired.  She let his words roll over and over inside her weary mind….was she sure she had heard him correctly?

For so long now she could not help but wonder if maybe she WAS making all this up?   Perhaps he was just indulging her in this fantasy, not having the heart to take it from her.  She didn’t really believe that was the case, but she did not dare allow herself to really believe otherwise…and now she knew.  There was no more questioning, no more wondering, no thinking “yes, but what if…”  All her questions had been answered and were more than she could have ever hoped for. 

She headed to her bed and for the first time in many days, sleep came easily…and dreams…dreams of him.  When she awoke she took a few moments to orient herself and realized that the headache was still with her…and her eyes were puffy and swollen.  Oh yes, that was what happened when she went to bed too soon after crying….crying…oh yes…she had cried…oh yes…oh my god, yes.  And the memories flooded her mind once again, bringing sweet tears to her already swollen eyes and throbbing head.  She wondered if he really KNEW the impact those words had had on her.  To know, without a doubt that he felt like she did, that he did indeed think the same things that she thought, that his heart shared the same longings DAILY that hers did.  And the tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she closed her eyes and let it comfort her again.  It almost felt like an epiphany for her, like EVERY MOMENT of her life had led up to that singular instant in time and that if she never accomplished anything else in her life, if she died tonight, she would have achieved all that she had been sent here to do.  Her life would have been complete and everything she had done up to that point in time, would pale in comparison to the fact that he loved her…and not only did he love her, but he loved her and wanted her the way she wanted him…and NOTHING else in this world mattered or would ever matter again.  Her life was complete.  Life was good…and not even time could touch this.  It was ageless and eternal and above Time’s reach.  Her future was still uncertain, nothing had really changed…and yet EVERYTHING had changed. 

Thank you, Duckie for loving me like that…I AM forever changed, my life not my own.  NEVER have I EVER more completely belonged to anyone the way I belong to you.  Thank you SO much for sharing your longings and desires with me, and while they hurt like hell, they heal and comfort me…yes, bittersweet.  My life is good, love.  Thank you for giving that to me and for sharing it with me.  May it always be so….

FOREVER your wife…D